The summer has officially come to an end. Our summer was crazy busy- as most are as LEO families. I have four children five years of age and under with the youngest being three months old. I know, we are crazy. Every time I tell people about our kids, their jaw drops and they say, "I'm a saint" or "How do you do it?"
Well, this summer is unlike our previous summers. Our youngest child was born and now our oldest is off to kindergarten. This is where my anxiety is coming into play.
I feel like as moms sometimes you can't wait for your children to start school. You can't wait to send them off to learn and grow, but when it actually comes down to sending them off, I can't help but feel very bittersweet. I didn't think I would feel like this, but as her first day of school is three days away, I'm a little nervous and anxious.
I have this pit in my stomach knowing that she's going off on her own. She has her own locker, she will eat her lunch in the cafeteria (without me making sure she finishes her fruit and veggies), she will make new friends and start her own social circle.
What if the other kids aren't nice to her? This is what I'm anxious and nervous about. Isn't our job to protect our children? And I'm not there at school to tell her everything will be alright.
Anyone else feel this way? It's so bittersweet. I'm so ready to send her off to learn -she's so smart. But what I'm not ready for is the unknown that kids won't be nice to her. What if someone calls her a name? What if the other girls won't want to sit by her? What if she asks someone to play and they say no? I know our daughter is confident and strong, but she's also human and full of feelings and I don't want to see that broken.
I've constantly told my daughter if she sees someone in her class that doesn't have anyone to play with, to be that person to ask them to play. Last year during preschool, she told me one night she asked a little boy that was sad to play with her since nobody else would. I asked her, "did he come play with you?" She said, "yes, he did and he had fun." That is a moment I will never forget.
So, as I mentally prepare myself to drop her off at school this week, now I understand why I hear moms say they cried. I know I will too. My children (as everyone's) are so precious. I've protected them for 5 years, trying to shape them into respectful, confident and intelligent kids. Now as I turn my reigns over, drive the car away, I know I did my best as a mom. And when she comes home from school, be a listening ear and never, ever miss a night to tell them I love them.
Spread your wings and fly beautiful girl. You will do wonders.